Hemm..I really didn’t realize ,it’s JULY of 2009..woww…even though it’s been nearly 2 months after the vacation to Manila, the scene, the drama and all the things that we’ve done is still fresh in my mind. Huhuhu..hem..that was a great vacation though the day were full spent with “shoppingggg”, but still can feel the fun..aiseh..me shopping too ba, that’s why I said it is fun..kwang kwang kwang..hem, hope that we can make another trip to somewhere and berusaha la neh kumpul2 duit lagi neh walaupun bnyk da responsibility neh..kwang kwang kwang..nanti cari la masa bila aku cuti yeah..if not at the right time, aku hanya hantar korang pg airport jer la..hehehehe..so guys, teruskan hidup..cita2 dan tanggungjawab harus diteruskan…kalau rasa down, stop and releks dan kalau bule tido la dulu..nanti if u wake up, things will be calm down and u urself pun akan jadi calm and when u feel calm, u can think wisely and be normal..hehehe.. adios..

maraming salamat na po for being such a good friend..

huhh..monday lagi neh ari..waaaa..after a week i didnt go the office, today when i came in, i feel sangattttt weak and sangat blurrr…hahaha..pasal 2 days beginning of last week, i spent most of my time thinking and making decision and pas tu I need to make some references for my own. huhh..its fun juga rasa bila the whole day busy dengan something..wahahahaha..last night, i read an article that was sent to me through email. Kali kekawan lain ada dapat juga tu email. Its about a bear yg trapped under a bridge and the bear slipped and nearly fall down but luckly that the bear manage to hang itself dengan menggunakan kuku tajam nya tu kali..macam wolverine yang sikit lagi jatuh masa fighting against penjahat yg mau kasi mutasi semua penduduk New York tue..lupa da namanya..tapi when logan slipped he terus keluarkan the besi d tangan dia and cucuk dinding tu statue of liberty..macam tu la the bear hanging..then the bear manage to naik and the bear found that dia trapped under the bridge..then, what the bear do is lie down and sleep..fuhhh…i was not really agree to what the bear do at first but then after a while datang la org rescue the bear and they lepaskan the bear in the forest..hemm..the bear is safe!! wahhh… fuhh…i was totally not agreed with the bear when the bear decided to sleep jak and not taking any action of trying to escape from the situation..but when i see how it end, its really “bump” my mind..huhh.I was wrong la..what the bear did is right plak..so, what i think is, sometime in some circumstances and in some hour or minute, it is a perfect way to settle problems by applying to what the bear did…..STOP and SLEEP… wahh..i like the second “S’..sleep..wahahahahaha..

yeahh…as for me, i learnt that we as a human are not perfect. And we do more wrong things and less the right thing..yupp..so never fail to try and to improve urself..like the picture above..i was in the island but i never know how more beautifull is the island until i walk till end of the deck and stop and turn back and sit and stared back to the island..woowww..its beautifull..

I get home late today and I straight away open my laptop and plug in my modem. …and after get connected I straight away surf and I found this picture that really “bang” my mind…

Yupp… I feel regret of something today..reallyyyy really and really feel regret of one thing today… the feeling is like when I sense of losing and longing for someone or even something that gone. It’s kind of a feeling of disappointment, distress about one thing that i wishes could be different. A kind of expression of sadness, depression or guilt after committing an action that I have not done.

huhh… i need to do something to get away from this..kwang kwang kwang… but what I get and what i learn is …appreciate whatever or whoever is around you today..peace..

hemm..Why was it so hard for me to write something but not to keep it in my mind..huhh..i feel that i have lots of thing to share but when come in writing, huh,,hampeh..Maybe no wonder that i did have lots of problem in writing essays for Bahasa Melayu during SPM..wahahahaha..kesian my cikgu Bahasa Melayu..Even scolded hundred times or thousand times pun masi lagi hampeh..huhuhu..but thanks la Cikgu, u did a great job and tremendous task of teaching murid dajal macam gue and kekawan sedajal lain..hehehehe…

today not feeling well..i have flu..waaa..great..i lost my motivation of doing my work today that I barely not coming to work..actually sakit M.A.L.A.S is the biggest infection..kwang kwang kwang..no la..when u have flu susah ba mau kerja.. my left hand holding saputangan and my right hand tekan keyboard..at first is still okey but then, lama-lama last to last..i gave up and I decided to enjoy my Wednesday with my flu and surfing internet and bla bla bla..kihkihkih…

tadik, I just stared at this picture and it really gives an amount of impact of my reflection la plak..ntah, gimana jadinya begtu tapi gue terasa seperti di bawah..

hem..maybe from outside looks good but inside..huhhh..”Tuhan saja yang tahu, perasaanku..”

tiap kali sa nampak tu kayu tepi pantai, sa terbayangkan seekor naga yang terdampar..kihkihkih..

i felt macam dalam picture above la..dari luaran nampak macam hidup tapi hakikatnya, it’s just kulit yang ditinggalkan.. in people’s sight I look alive, but when i’m touched u will find that i’m empty… kwang kwang kwang…

rasa ingin terbang, fly high sampai luar atmosfera bumi to see from above how beautifull is my world…and i feel FREEEE..

but masi lagi tia rasa puas, tapi cukup la dgn adanya MAS dan AIRASIA, i am able to fly without wing…. luckly the plane got wings..kwang kwang kwang…

macam mana pun…have to face the reality..come on pare!!wake up!!wake up!! the journey is still tooooo long to go..and by illustration on the picture above, my goal is to run as fast as i could to reach the end of the deck to see and seek for what i want…. and i see…

fuhhh…there is a never ending journey…at the end of the ending is a start to another new journey..a place which is more adventures and thrills, with no limits of boundaries…and in whatsoever that is going on, what i know is..I should Never Stop Learning… caiyok..caiyok..GANBATEH!!!!

I feel really awkward tonite after coming back from a church meeting..woww..tonite the feeling is back..I fall in love again …with Him.. Thanks God for still there for me..as always..
Sejak pertama bertemu dengan-Mu,

Ada rasa getaran cinta,

Yang Kau pancarkan dari aura wajah-Mu,

Ku jatuh cinta pada diri-Mu,

Selalu mencintai-Mu,

Dalam hatiku selamanya,

Tiada cinta yang lain hanya Kau satu,

Kau-lah cintaku.

Biarlah cinta itu ada dalam hati kita,

Untuk selamanya,

Selalu mencintai-Mu selamanya,

Tiada yang lain, Kau-lah cintaku…

Im feeling really bad today. I woke up this morning and I feel pain on the right side of my head and I feel dizzy and feel dried in my throat. Last night before sleep, I took a glass of warm water, that I mixed with “Ubat batuk cap ibu dan anak”. It’s really works that I can sleep well last night. These two days lately, I always wake up middle of the night looking for a glass of water because I feel my throat is dry. But last night was a good night with enough sleep..hehehe..

Actually I want to write on my feeling of want to be invisible in this world. Don’t cast me away but just nice if make me disappeared. Hem, I’m not really in the topic right? Hemm..well actually it is related. But, to elaborate on this sub topic, I need more space to type in my words.hehe..Just skip it first, and I will be back to this topic when I have the chance to do so. Hehehe..Why do I want to be invisible? It’s really complicated. It sounds easy when we try to say “make it short” or “make it easy to understand” ,that , it makes it more difficult for us to do it. When I was a kid, my parent taught me, that our life is like a brand-new white cloth, and we ourselves will play our part as the painter. So, my life goes on flowing together parallel to the time that passed. My parent said, the shape that drawn on the cloth represent the way of life that I’m living on. If the shape is beautiful, meaning that my life is going on the right track, and opposite of that, if the shape doesn’t look beautiful, meaning that my life is not on the right track. What should I do then? Hemm, practically it is very easy. Bleach it. Yup..Just bleach it , and re-paint it. Use the right colour and draw the right shape. Wow..It sounds easy right? Bleach and re-paint. Wow, and wow and wooo..how wonderful the life is, if it is as easy as it sound. Another question is, will we have the second chance to bleach and do the re-paint on the cloth? When we bleach the cloth, will you think the cloth will be as white as the original colour? And will all the dirt cleansed away? Hem………………..just think about it pare…

Hai frenz, a very gud morning and happy monday guys..enjoy the day and time as it will not stop, not even if u try to stop it..hehehe..well, yesterday me and my some other frenz went to City Mall, a shopping mall that is located I think somewhere near Kolombong. Im not really sure about it, but if u travel using the luyang highway, (which you will passed by Klinik Kesihatan Luyang), and keep straight after the traffic light, u will find City Mall. Hehehehe… while we go around the area to search for a parking, at last we found one just beside a hilux. Then, the story start here. And i need all who read this story will give me ur opinion. Okey, lets look at the picture below, so, WHAT IS THE  COLOUR ,DO U THINK IS THE CAR PAINTED ON? BLUE or GREEN?

Come on, help me…

what colour is this???

way to attract attention..

being a kid is fun, but being a parent of a kid is “fuhhhh……”.. <–intepret it urself k..hehehehe..i think, being a parent of a kid is  “responsibility” and “commitment” ba kan..hahah..dunno yet la.. well, those who have the experiences know it better kan..hihihi.. but, how i think kids nowdays are very lucky. Growing in the zone of high technology, well-developed town and country and many more intresting things that we all can see around now. Before this, I always think that Im not a lucky person, compare to kids nowdays, but, now i realize that, im very proud of my kid’s life that i know and i feel clean and clear river without pollution, soft and peace breezy air without air pollution, and most enjoying part is, when i was a kid, i never use any mask to prevent me inhale all the dust or toxic air or the polluted air that will destruct my lung.. hehehe..

Hai, hemm, pagi ini aku sempat menonton t.v sebelum ke pejabat. Aku bangun agak awal dan bersiap lebih awal dari biasa. Aku melihat jam tanganku, masih lagi 7.30pg.”Wah, awal lagi” detik hatiku. Pada bulan ini aku sepatutnya memulakan tugas dari pukul 8.30pg sehingga pukul 5.30ptg. Oleh kerana perjalanan dari rumah ke pejabat hanya memakan masa dari 5 – 10 minit sahaja, maka, aku memutuskan untuk menonton t.v sementara menunggu masa untuk berangkat ke pejabat. Aku menonton sebuah cerita yang pertama kali aku lihat ditayangkan (kerana sebelum ni aku jarang meluangkan masa bersama-sama t.v, jadi tidak biasa sudah dengan program t.v yg disiarkan..hehehe..kesian kan). Kisah yang menceritakan seorang budak kecil yang hidup dalam keluarga yang serba kekurangan dari segi kewangan, kelengkapan hidup dan bnyk lagi. Dengan naluri seorang budak, sudah pasti banyak benda yang diingininya di dalam hidup..permainan, aiskrim, baju yang cantik, kasut yang bergaya, duit poket yang cukup setiap hari, rambut yang disisir dan disapu dengan minyak rambut yang wangi dan juga semburan wangi atau bedak untuk dipakai.Apatah lagi perasaan yang cemburu melihat kawan-kawan sesekolah yang menaiki kenderaan mewah ke sekolah.Huh..aku faham juga perasaan itu.Walaupun darisegi lakonan budak kecil itu kurang memberikan sentuhan perasaan yang sebenarnya, namun jika diimbas kembali kenangan sewaktu kecil, aku amat memahami situasi demikian. Hidup dalam julat miskin – sederhana, memang memberikan impak yang besar dalam kehidupanku. Sungguh besar impak itu kepada cara aku dibesarkan. Tapi, itulah kehidupan. Mana ada kehidupan yang sangat sempurna, Bagi ku, ketidaksempurnaan yang aku miliki itu merupakan satu pola / bentuk / corak yang bukan mendatangkan kebinasaan atau kekurangan dalam hidupku tapi merupakan satu medium yang memberikan kesempurnaan dalam kekurangan hidupku. Hehehehe…kalau tak faham, bacalah berulang-ulang kali..kalau tak faham lagi, teruskan la ke perenggan seterusnya..hahahahaha…Ini satu cerita yang pernah aku alami sewaktu aku kecil dahulu.

Pernah sekali, sewaktu aku berada di sekolah rendah, darjah 5. Aku berkawan dengan seorang kawan yang amat aku rapat. Di dalam kelas, kami dikenali sebagai murid yang paling pendiam dan ini menjadikan kami murid yang disayangi oleh guru-guru. Sudah pasti la guru-guru menginginkan pelajar yang pendiam, kerana mengikut pengalaman aku, kalau pelajar itu pendiam, hemmm…kurang la sikit beban di hati, fikiran dan emosi. Hahahahaha….

Satu hari kawan aku ni ternampak aku memegang sebuah kad Pungutan Jogathon anjuran sebuah persatuan di luar. Hem, terpaksa la juga merahsiakan sedikit maklumat kerana masi dianggap rahsia ni cerita..Hahahaha… Sebelum itu, baik aku menceritakan sedikit cerita sebelum aku meneruskan lagi cerita ini. Sebelum ini, aku dan kawan aku ni pernah “escape” kelas Taekwondo yang dijalankan waktu petang.Jadi kami pergi lepak di sebuah supermarket berdekatan dengan sekolah kami. Bahagian yang paling disukai oleh kami ialah bahagian PERMAINAN..hahahaha..budak-budak paling suka benda ni. TAk tau la kenapa..Itu la yang dikatakan naluri budak-budak..hehehe. Kami hanya membelek permainan yang dipamerkan dan yang pasti aku sering mengeluh kerana harga barang permainan tersebut tidak mampu dibeli oleh aku dan kawan ku juga.Dalam kami membelek-belek barang permainan, “tubbb”…mataku dan kawan ku tertumpu pada sebuah permaianan Kereta dengan alat kawalan jauh. Fuhyooo….apa lagi..terus la kami menerpa kearah bungkusan kereta mainan itu..Dengan ghairah yang ada, kami membelek-belek kereta mainan itu, Tapi apakan daya, kami hanya dapat memegang dan melihat namun tidak dapat bermain dengan kereta itu.Jadi, dari hari itu, aku dan kawan ku bertekad untuk mengumpul duit agar dapat membeli kereta mainan yang menjadi impian kami berdua itu.

Dipendekkan cerita, kembali ke cerita awal lagi, bila kawanku melihat aku memegang kad pungutan jogathon itu, maka lahirlah idea yang aku sendiri tidak terfikirkan akan buat. Kawanku berkata “ Hei, apa kata kita pungut duit sampai banyak-banyak, pas tu kita ambil duit tu. Kad kita buang la.Kita pungut sampai RM100 lebih, pastu bayar RM50 denda kad hilang, jadi tinggal RM50 lebih untuk kita berdua. Nanti kita bolehlah beli kereta mainan tu”..Hemm, aku berfikir juga masa tu lama2, tapi dengan desakan dan pengaruh kawan ku itu, aku lalu percaya dan ikut je katanya itu. Jadi keesokan harinya kami pun memulakan operasi kami mengutip derma dari satu rumah ke satu rumah yang lain…penat woiiii……

Dipendekkan cerita lagi, kami pun berhenti lepas penat berjalan. Kami terus mengira jumlah kutipan.wah..aku ingat lagi, jumlahnya RM150.80..Fuh, aku dan kawan ku sungguh gembira..Jadi, aku pun membahagikan duit itu kepada nisbah RM50 (byr denda kad ) dan RM 50.40 setiap seorang..aduh..menyesal da sekarang bila ingat benda tu.Jahatnya fikiran aku masa tu..hahahaha..

Dengan duit itu, aku dan kawan ku terus ke supermarket tempat kereta mainan itu dijual. Hem..semangat dan perasaan gembira itu sudah meledak-ledak di dalam hati. Kami pun masuk kedalam kedai dan terus ke bahagian Permainan.AduhhhhHH!!!!!!! sampai jak sana, bungkusan kereta mainan itu dah tiada di sana. Kami bertanya kepada jurujual disana dan alangkah kecewanya kami bila mendapati kereta mainan itu suda dibeli..Aduhhhhhhh…. Itulah balasan Tuhan kepada perbuatan kami ni.Memang la pintar ideanya, tapi pintar yang tidak baik plak idea tu..Keesokan arinya, kami pergi kesekolah dan pertama kalinya kami dapat makan nasi lemak 2 bungkus yang harganya RM0.50 sebungkus. Huhhh..dengan minuman tin F&N perisa buah-buahan lagi…Doiiii….Terima Kasih la Tuhan.Syukur juga dapat la rasa makan nasi lemak dengan air tin perisa buah-buahan..hahahahaha…duit bakinya ( setelah ditolak dengan perbelanjaan lain ) aku gunakan sebagai pembayaran pendaftaran pertandingan Taekwondo antara sekolah..Hem…tak diberkati juga, aku hanya mampu bawa balik pingat gangsa masa tu( sekolah janji kala bawa balik emas kena bagi ganjaran RM150) besar nilai tu masa tu.kawanku yang dapat emas sempat lagi cerita dia membawa ibunya makan aiskrim di sebuah kedai aiskrim yang menjadi pujaan budak-budak dulu (dikenali sebagai FrosttyBoy) ..kecewa berkali-kali plak hidup ku lepas guna duit tu..itu la salah satu kenangan aku semasa disekolah rendah dulu…Duii… semoga anak-anak ku kemudian hari tidak lah akan bersikap sedemikian…Palis..palis..jauh2…hahahahahahaha…